I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
third nipple confirmed
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
