sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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