I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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