it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
