i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
