he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
