too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
