Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
