Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
