you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
