For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
