dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just found puke in my bra..
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
