Nicole vs. Life
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
