so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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