we have officially lost it.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
