shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize