BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
