Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize