He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
