We need to rekindle our bromance
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
