he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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