Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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