is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
