Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize