I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
