think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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