Sorry, I don't speak sober.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
