I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
