Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
