no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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