It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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