just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
