Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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