I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
