I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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