playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
And the cops told us we were all naked.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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