Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
