I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
