oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
just come out here and I will go home with you...
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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