Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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