Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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