I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Randomize
