there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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