There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
