The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
only if we run a train.
done.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Why is there bacon in the couch?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
