I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
