I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
farters have to be the big spoon...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
you made out with another girl for some wings
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
