Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize