I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
