i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
