Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
