i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
