Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
