i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
