Can Purell be used as lube?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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