In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
