I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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