he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
