i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Quick, to the slutcave!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
