so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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