I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
