i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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