If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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