I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
