she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
