It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
