There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
