Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
