people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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